Faith Revolution

…and I snapped this picture:

Is that Sandi I see?  I think that’s Sandi.  Don’t you?  It sure looks like Sandi.

I wonder where they’re going?

Maybe they’re already there.

They look so happy.

Bless their hearts.

Did I mention that I turned 40 on Saturday?  As of today, only 363 days until my next birthday (hint, hint).

Seriously, though, I really want to thank everyone who sent card, gifts, made phone calls and celebrated with me in various ways, including the incredible surprise party at my house on Saturday evening planned by my church family.  I wish that I could thank everyone individually, I really do.  To try would be an incredible task and I would inevitably forget someone.  I don’t want to do that.  But, as I sit here writing this, each one of your faces is popping into my mind and I am so thankful and so blessed to have so many wonderful friends and acquaintances in so many different places. 

God bless every one of you.

Well, tonight I am sitting here in Cranberry waiting for a professor to show up for class.  She forgot about us and is now on her way so I really have nothing else to do. 

It’s been a long day.

I guess I could be studying for Saturday’s NT exam, but at this point, I don’t think it will do any good.  I could be preparing Sunday’s message, but it is already done. 

Pray for me.  I am the only guy in this class.  I had better keep my mouth shut, huh?  I am not being sexist, but those of you who know me well know that I can be…well…rather opinionated at times and even a little caustic.  But I will endeavor to behave.  This is it.  I graduate in May.  I am not going to blow it now.

Did I mention that Saturday is my 40th BD?  It’s not too late!  Wal-mart is opne 24 hrs! 

Oh yeah.  I just recently found out that my pastor retired.  Congratulations Hiram and Phyllis! 

Karthaus, we’re praying for the next guy to come quickly!

Hi mom!  See you next week.

Have I rambled enough yet?

Thought so.  But I leave you with a warning:  If the prof. doesn’t get here soon, I may come back and ramble some more.

Oh yeah…”hi” to the golden girlz!

The follow was written by my friend, Steve.  It is reprinted here with his permission. 

I hope it speaks to you as it did to me.

My Heart For Yours

Written by Steve Crowl

Let me introduce you to my heart:

My heart is over 50 years old now.

My heart works day and night to provide for me – Life.

My heart has felt that warm loving feeling, its felt cold about certain things and it’s felt hard at times.

My heart has experienced heartache, heartbreak and disappointment.

My heart when it was younger was set on special things such as Birthdays, Christmas, Halloween, Summer Vacations, Visiting my Grandparents, being loved by my parents, my family and my friends.

My heart loves music and yearned to play guitar, sing and become a musician, it also loves expressing itself through art and dreamed of being an artist as well.

My heart skipped a beat a few times in grade school when I was told that a certain girl liked me.

My heart wondered if this is what love feels like, the first time I held hands with that girl (the heat from my heart caused my hands to sweat)

My heart would ache when that relationship would end and instantly begin looking for love from another.

My heart was hurt often because of a loved one who I thought loved me, but their hurtful words would tear me down and often left me empty.

My heart became discouraged over and over again by trying to make that person proud of me, but never could live up to their standards.

My heart wonders, did this person ever really love me.

My heart was all I had and as it beat inside me, it kept me thinking that I wasn’t a failure, I wasn’t a loser, even though I was told differently.

My heart was all in favor of doing what was needed to make me happy.

My heart, I believe always had some good in it.

My heart got sidetracked – caught up in unhealthy things, doing things it knew was wrong and hurting others even when it knew what it felt like to be hurt and how painful that can be.

My heart became selfish, protecting me from others, it become hard and would not allow others to hurt me ever again.

My heart would become tired from trying to discern what was right and what was wrong.

My heart became tired from justifying and convincing itself that it’s OK; it’s OK to do what we were doing even when it just wasn’t working anymore and my heart could see that I was miserable.

My heart on many occasions was under stress through numerous sessions of drugs that over worked it and sometimes drugs that would suppress it, speeding it up or slowing it down so that it couldn’t do what it was designed to do.

And through it all it still had to deal with people, places and things and me.

My heart got tired of covering up for me, hating for me and lying for me.
My heart continued to beat for my life’s sake, but it didn’t like what it had become and it no longer liked what I had become.

My own heart one day, turned against me.

You see, my heart always knew its maker, deep down inside it knew that God excited, that there was more to life than what it was experiencing, it knew that the only reason it existed was because God willed it too.

My heart knew all along that God was love, but it was committed to me, to serve me, to give itself to me, although it had become very weary.

My heart one day had to make a decision, it had to either serve its creator or serve me.

My heart knew that I was taking advantage of it, I was going against everything my heart initially stood for, I was manipulating it and using it merely to keep breathing, but no longer did I care about it.

My heart quit one day, for a brief moment, it was in fear of its own life the day it discovered that I was seriously considering ending my life.

My heart turned on me, no longer was it going to enable me and lie for me, or hate for me, no longer was it going to keep beating for me to destroy myself and the lives of others around me. No longer will it let me believe that things are OK when really I was dying, no longer would it be the only thing keeping me alive when I didn’t care to live anymore.

My heart returned to its maker, to its creator, to the one it was designed to serve.

My heart returned to doing the things it was intended to do all along, to serve others, to care, to love, show compassion and concern, to laugh, to sing, to live life to its fullest.

My heart abandoned me and gave itself to another, it gave itself to Jesus.

Jesus took my heart just the way it was, worn out, broken, tired, overworked, disillusioned and spiritually dead.

Jesus accepted my heart even though it had turned on him and neglected its original calling and purpose.

My heart lives for Christ, it still has to endure the world and all it throws our way and oh yes it still has to put up with me.

My heart still aches and breaks when it hears of the tragedies that other hearts have to endure.

I thank God for my heart, a heart that pumps living blood throughout my entire body, a heart that is the reason I still take in breath.

My heart thanks God, for it has returned to the one who gives it its purpose.

I thank my heart for introducing me to Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.